On Pride

Traditional Start of SF Pride: Dykes on Bikes

 

[written on Pride Sunday 2023]

On this pride day I realize that the modern gay rights movement in the US has happened pretty much within my lifetime. Unlike the popular mythology, modern gay rights didn't start at Stonewall as there was a lot of gay life in NYC, Chicago, SF, LA and other places throughout the 60's. it was often quietly tolerated so long as we kept our mouths shut. But politics was happening before Stonewall and for NYC the Mattachine's Sip-In lawsuit overturned the anti-gay laws about gay people at bars in like the mid 60's. One of the great ironies of Stonewall is that it was illegal and mob owned and the cops were on the take and would raid it if they didn't get their bribes. There was no reason for Stonewall to have existed at all in 1969. But before Stonewall the politics were definitely much more low-key.

 

The current gay parades were a repurposing of the Mattachine's Annual Reminder and decidedly not button down as before. But clearly there was something in the water as it simultaneously erupted in NYC, Chicago, LA and SF followed by many other cities in the years following. It also shows there was networking going on at a national level well before Stonewall. The Mattachine and Daughters of Bilitis are the most well known, but there was undoubtedly many more. 

 

There is a mythology that Pride was about a lot of Proud Queer Warriors in solidarity. In NYC the parade may have started out that way with the handful of people who started marching from the West Village, but it quickly turned into a party atmosphere as people joined in along the way on the march to Central Park -- many probably having no clue what it was about other than a lot of gay people together and not in a dark bar. You can bet that that party atmosphere in Central Park led to lots of fun later that night with new, uh, friends they met.

 

Pride in my opinion is about a very simple thing: visibility. It's much harder to hate something that has a name, a face or especially a relation. Coming out has been the #1 political tool, and Pride says I'm here, I'm queer, get used to it. I've always thought that one of the key innovations of the gay rights movement was the Pride parades. They are an annual reminder that we exist and that we aren't going away. It coupled with coming out has proven to be very powerful.

 

On the other side, Pride is about seeing that we're not alone for us. How many kids from hateful rural places that fled to big cities to be gay and then come to their first Pride parade with eyes the size of saucers seeing every imaginable kind of gay person all just having fun for our one day a year. Even in the age of gay marriage, it's still necessary and a reminder that there are a lot of gay people who don't have the freedom that cities afford to this day. 

 

A lot of us are over Pride because to be honest if you've seen one Pride parade, you've seen them all. The festivals can still be fun especially if you like the acts they bring in, and of course the people watching and cruising. For me, the funnest part was always at the bars after as everybody is in a festive and frisky mood -- it was one of those few days a year that people really let down their inhibitions. It's a view of what it would be like if being gay was the norm instead of straight.

 

Given the current spasms of homophobia and transphobia lately, Pride seems especially relevant again. We can't allow Nazi scum like the Proud Boys dictate what we can and can't do. As far as I can tell, they for the most part didn't show up or incite violence -- typical for chicken shit bitches, they know they'd get their asses kicked. But it's also good for smaller cities and even rural areas because you get to know your gay neighbors which can be pretty hard especially with the advent of apps. Having lived in San Francisco, the size of the crowd is overwhelming -- like one million overwhelming -- but having been to smaller Prides like Long Beach and San Jose they feel more intimate. And of course the Prides in rural areas like where we live now are very intimate -- ours was a potluck in a park. 

Now to all of the belly achers of "CORPRO HAS DEBASED OUR PURE PRIDE!!!" -- get the fuck over yourselves. Pride was never any one thing and adding corpro isn't hurting anybody. This year in particular it has shown that it's not just an empty political gesture. While there has been some craven back peddling, the vast majority have not. Also: a lot of who marches at Pride for corpro are their employees so fuck off if you don't think they should march if they think their company is gay friendly. Silicon Valley led the way in many respects for companies having pro-gay HR policies and if they want to march I say they deserve it. HR by it's nature is very conservative and extremely cover your ass, so it's no small thing for them to be on board. Besides I loved the cute little rainbow Androids Google was handing out one year around when it first came out. 

And the worst of all are the horrified Puritans who clutch their pearls at people dressing like you'd see at any beach. They can fuck right off too. Little kids don't know what Furries are about (heck, neither do I). All they know is that they are colorful animated animals. Which they are, and kids love them. And heaven help us if the pups trot down the parade route on all fours. Kids don't know what it's about (again, neither do I). Reading sex acts into that sort of thing is ridiculous. Parents can make their own decisions about what they want their kids to be exposed to, not some hysterical Puritans wanting veto power.

 

So Happy Pride from this jaded old troll. Do political things! Do naughty things! Have a ball!