Why the fuck am I so smitten by Red White and Royal Blue?

[I should say I haven't read the book (yet), so people who have might have more context about my takes]

Ok, I fully admit that I love the gay rom com genre so I'm an easy mark. It's probably because there was no gay equivalent of things like the Breakfast Club and things like that when I grew up. RW&RB is completely formulaic in the star crossed lovers kind of way. I get that. But they all are to varying degrees: that's not a bug, it's a feature. So why is it that I'm sort of obsessing about it having watched it about 5 times in the last few days? It's even caused me to write some fan fiction about a possible sequel. What in the fuck is wrong with me?

First off I think the acting was superb. I don't know if in the book that Alex was supposed to come off as a typical douchey straight frat boy, but geeze is he annoying even when they are together. If the intent was to be cringe, Taylor Zakhar Perez really pulled it off. His creepy inappropriate familiarity in situations that should have more decorum is every bad stereotype. But in some ways I do see myself much more in Alex's shoes than Henry's. While I'm not a douche (seriously. ok, fuck off) Alex is much more confident of himself and his situation that allows him to be a douche. It took a lot of vulnerability with Henry to tell him that he was scarred when they met and that's why he reacted the way he did to Henry. Bit by bit, he de-douches himself. It allows him to enter a world he had not really contemplated. Even in the end he's still pretty much a douche, but he shows that he is absolutely committed to Henry. I like that. Redemption for douches? Who knew?

Then there is Henry. Yes, Nick Galitzine and especially those lips slay me. But there is something about him and the trap he finds himself in that is so relatable. Being in the closet is bad enough but to be in the closet with the public starring at you 24/7 is horrible. In the old days before the internet and social media you could be gay and famous and live a semi-normal life if the powers that be were complicit with the game. Think old Hollywood. There were plenty of gay actors where it was an open secret that so and so was gay but the studios controlled the narrative. We all knew that Rock Hudson, for example, was gay in and around Hollywood but the studios put up the facade of plausible deniability and everything was good. But for Henry in the internet age, that is not possible and freakishly makes his closet far more miserable. There is no such thing as "confirmed bachelors" anymore. That is something actually new and refreshing because it's new. It's easy to shit on celebrities, but I mean they are still people and have to go through a lot of shit that they don't like just because of their visibility. I certainly don't know what it's like and I don't want to excuse bad behavior but I sure as hell wouldn't want that life. Part of my life is that I just didn't really care what other people thought and was always horny so I can empathize with Henry for whom that is just not possible.

But there are many scenes that kill me. First and foremost is the scene when they've been outed and Henry has his phone taken away from him. When Alex finally manages to get in contact with him and Alex asks him if he's ok, Henry answer "No. No I'm not" and when Alex says he's jumping the next flight London Henry says "Hurry. Please". Their meeting and the tenderness of the scene was just heartbreaking. It's a cliche trope of the top protecting his bottom, but I don't care about the stereotype because it felt very real. You could feel Henry's anguish and hopelessness. Nick did such a good job of conveying that. I don't know where Nick is on the gay spectrum, but geeze does he seem to have access to the emotions. Hey Nick, it's ok either way but if you are it's ok... the water is fine especially if you're bi like Alex.

The butt sex scene is somewhat unusual too for the gay genre. Let's face it, they're usually terrible. Usually it's done under the covers, fully dressed and shown with wild animalistic passion which is not how I experienced sex much. That and the trope of throwing them to a wall and fucking them from behind standing up is too cliche for my taste too. But in this scene they are fucking missionary slowly and passionately taking in every bit of the experience (update: apparently a lot of straight people didn't know we do missionary. It's like what the fuck? It's honestly my favorite because I like to see who I'm having sex with). Henry's expression is especially emotive and shows that he is falling hard for Alex. Alex delivering "making love" in the scene is quite beautiful because Alex is clearly a wham bam thank you ma'am kind of guy. He's clearly falling for Henry too but he is much more conflicted about it. Maybe conflicted is the wrong word, but I think it's because Alex is still rather surprised that he can fall for a guy in a romantic way. That seems like a genuine phenomenon with bisexuals because finding women attractive both for sex and romance is the easy path. Finding guys attractive especially in a romantic context is the hard path and a lot of bi guys can be oblivious to it until that one guy causes them to wake up. Henry on the other hand is terrified. Terrified to allow himself to have feelings. So while the scene is a bit unusual, it did what it needed to do: watching them falling in love while making love.

The lake scene of course was devastating. When Alex talks about taking Henry around Austin hand in hand and Henry's eyes pop open, it perfectly captures Alex's complete naivete as Alex was about to tell him he loved him. The metaphor of Henry drowning because of his closet underscores the terrible toll the closet is taking on him. While I was never especially closeted I can just feel the horrible situation that Henry finds himself in. That Alex is oblivious to that is crushing to Henry. There is no way out because there is no way out. That I think is pretty unusual for the genre and certainly is pretty unique to the gay experience. 

The New Year's Eve scene is similarly unusual for the genre. Alex is still pretty oblivious that in reality he's quite obviously flirting heavily with Henry. Again, a bisexual angle that you don't often see. Henry knows he's as gay as a maypole(!) but Alex is oblivious to his feelings. It takes Henry's kiss to allow him to connect the dots about his feelings for him. And then, why Henry of all people? Love is like that, dude. Weird shit happens. In that I see some of myself in Alex. Instead of weirding out, he is much more like "huh. didn't see that coming, self" and rolls with it. That's the sign of somebody who lives much more in the moment unlike the over thinker Henry who has to calculate everything out to the nth degree. (update: in the book, Alex is definitely an over thinker, but not for sex and love, in my opinion)

The meeting with the king was a little stilted. I mean in this day and age would actual royals be this uptight about a gay prince, especially a spare? I guess with all of the drama with Prince Harry, maybe they would but it's hardly a secret that there were gay princes and kings for that matter. But I'm certainly no expert on all things royal so what would I know? Plus the king rolled over way too easily if it was his serious intent to quash the entire thing. The entire flash mob thing was also a little too clever by half. Not my favorite scene, but they had to drive the plot forward somehow on that front.

Likewise with the election scene... Texas? Seriously? I know it's Hollywood and you have to suspend disbelief but that's an especially hard ask. I guess they had to tie it back to Alex's work but it's really hard to imagine that happening these days with Trump and the crazy party ruling the roost. The final scene at Alex's house reinforced the bromance narrative. But that is a dynamic that a lot of gay couples have that is not as socially acceptable with straight relationships. It's ok to be bros and lovers too. Aric often compares me to his older brother Michael who he fought with every day. That's a look that's a little unusual too. All too often Hollywood forgets the playfulness of relationships.

One more minor thing I like is that Nick actually plays the piano. I had to look it up, but yes he is an accomplished musician. I have been having the Bach Sheep May Safely Graze he was playing become a very annoying earworm. That and Rachel Maddow. Girl, you need to stop doing these things. They are not a good look.

So why am I so smitten? I think it gave some new and refreshing twists to the age old genre. I thought that the acting was "on the nose" (sorry, Henry). While I have had nothing like Henry's experience (mine was much more like Alex's minus his cluelessness) I as a gay man really empathize with his predicament. This shit does happen up and down the social pecking order.  That and Nick Galitzine is beautiful. And a bottom. At least in the movie. The American hegemony of being the top makes all things right in the world. And that is yet another reason to love this.